My first post

Hi I'm B and I'm an alcoholic. A good friend suggested I start this blog as a way to get my thoughts down on paper. I had mentioned how much my texts to her gave me comfort after certain experiences...maybe a larger audience will help even more.

I plan on sharing my story here about my recent, ongoing recovery from alcoholism. I have been sober for 4 1/2 months (or 134 days to be exact). Doesn't seem like a tremendous amount of time...but compared to where I was last year, it's huge.

My postings must be completely nameless. This is for two reasons. One is self-preservation. While I have no shame about admitting I am an alcoholic or for having gone to rehab (more on that later), you never know who will have their own thoughts about it. I need to protect myself on a professional level. Secondly, I need to protect those people who I mention here. Their stories are theirs alone and it is not my place to their identities.

As for the name of this blog, it refers to what Alcoholics Anonymous calls "counting days". Anyone counting to their first 90 days to sobriety who shares their day count at a meeting typically receives congratulatory applause from the group. But it goes beyond that. Whether someone has one day or 50 years, they are all congratulated. Whether someone has spent decades in sobriety and has had the "spiritual awakening" promised to him or has just picked himself up out of the gutter for his first meeting, both are welcomed and celebrated. Because honestly, who couldn't use a pat on the back and a round of applause EVERYDAY for something?

I'm not sure how I will let people know this blog exists. I'll probably tell some of my closer friends who know my experience and hope they can pass the word for me anonymously. I also don't know how interesting it will be. For all I know, it could end up being as exciting as one big Facebook status update. For all I know, I could forget to post for days or weeks. For all I know, I could relapse. As scary as that is, it has to be recognized as a possibility.

In the end, I DON'T CARE how interesting it is. Because while I would love it if these postings help someone out there, my first reason for doing this is to help myself. I do not claim to be an expert on this stuff. I do not have all the answers for anyone. I am still working on my own "spiritual awakening". Perhaps this will change over time. For now, I'll write what I can.

More to come...


Best, B