Bad advice

I stopped by my old haunting ground today, the bar where I spent way too many hours and days during 2008. I'm friends with the bartender and some of the regulars and had plans in the area, so I stopped by to talk for a while first.

There's one guy there who probably drinks more than I used to. He's a nice guy, probably too loud for his own good. And always has an opinion. Whenever I stop in there (maybe 4 times since leaving rehab), he tries to tell me tat he doesn't think I had a bad problem, I wasn't that bad a drinker. Now, he was pretty drunk when he said this today but...

People have to realize that is the most dangerous thing you can say to a recovering alcoholic. An alcoholic is looking for ANY reason or justification to be able to drink again. Doesn't matter if it's your best friend or just someone you happen to know, if someone says you could probably drink, that idea grabs hold and works its way through your head. Alcoholism is, as they say, cunning, baffling, powerful, insidious. It is just looking for a weak spot and it is completely reckless and inappropriate for someone else to provide it.

Now, I've said in the past I sometimes apppreciate times like these, challenges like these. It keeps me on my toes and makes me remember my Step 1 work. That's still true. But when they push it, trying to convince me...then I get pissed off.

The interesting thing is that these comments typically come from people who have drinking problems themselves. Making me believe I can drink makes them feel better about their own drinking. If I can't (or won't) stay sober, then they feel bette that they won't. So I take it with a grain of salt and usuallly just brush it off.

But sometimes, after all the work I've done, I just want to tell these people too shut the fuck up for talking about something they know absolutely nothing about. This should be viewed as any disease. Other people just don't know. And I wouldn't expect them to.

I think I need to start being less polite and telling them what I really think when they spew this crap.

Best,
B